I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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