Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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