Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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