rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
