i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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