I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
