you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
