Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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