I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize