Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize