I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
