Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What did we do last night that was yellow?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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