Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think i have herpe
just one?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
