And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
