hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
that may or may not have been my penis.
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