Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
