you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
