party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
