he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
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