Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
