Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize