I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize