dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
