Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
