High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
