no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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