New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize