Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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