doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
