Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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