is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize