Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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