He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
