i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
