I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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