At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
