so explain again why im purple
no
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
