she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
