Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
