Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
