If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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