I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
