i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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