Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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