We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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