I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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