I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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