yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize