why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
