Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt
  Replies (8) Good night (689) Bad night (2038)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  people would bow to what i just did to her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): people would bow to what i just did to her vagina http://tfl.nu/rxjb
  Replies (31) Good night (7285) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed. http://tfl.nu/65fd
  Replies (14) Good night (894) Bad night (3037)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/01mk
  Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (3871)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession? http://tfl.nu/ohzs
  Replies (50) Good night (6224) Bad night (1911)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3
  Replies (11) Good night (781) Bad night (3504)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around. http://tfl.nu/6rm8
  Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  and you said he wasn't worth calling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer. (1-515): and you said he wasn't worth calling. http://tfl.nu/rvi9
  Replies (17) Good night (1836) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended. http://tfl.nu/6aj3
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act http://tfl.nu/3xru
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1444) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex. http://tfl.nu/37hh
  Replies (2) Good night (1456) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary http://tfl.nu/a9h3
  Replies (0) Good night (903) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (250)

Randomize