i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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