Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (709) Bad night (1951)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/fsan
  Replies (31) Good night (4941) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua
  Replies (20) Good night (2828) Bad night (4493)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu
  Replies (18) Good night (3768) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): How was the bike ride? (1-734): Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups. http://tfl.nu/2qrl
  Replies (21) Good night (8722) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going http://tfl.nu/w65t
  Replies (9) Good night (4153) Bad night (1867)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces.. http://tfl.nu/3uan
  Replies (6) Good night (2813) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat. http://tfl.nu/flst
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (2319)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right. http://tfl.nu/p298
  Replies (2) Good night (1985) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic? (707): ...did you eat that brownie? http://tfl.nu/j241
  Replies (2) Good night (2375) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (776): View more from

  My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (776): My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today. http://tfl.nu/rxf7
  Replies (0) Good night (1099) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1297) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg
  Replies (1) Good night (925) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila. http://tfl.nu/o7tf
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (166)

Randomize