I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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