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• (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  that makes sense.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

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• (713): View more from Texas

  We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

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• (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.

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