Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.

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(763): i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells. http://tfl.nu/8di1

Replies (83) Good night (1129) Bad night (17272)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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(856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon

Replies (12) Good night (3720) Bad night (555)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

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(860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p

Replies (17) Good night (4378) Bad night (1957)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.

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(910): i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny. http://tfl.nu/fz99

Replies (23) Good night (1350) Bad night (2829)
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(903): View more from Texas

Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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(903): Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me http://tfl.nu/adub

Replies (6) Good night (4110) Bad night (918)
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(239): View more from Florida

I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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(239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst

Replies (1) Good night (1214) Bad night (620)
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(224): View more from Illinois

My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

(312): View more from Illinois

Elaborate

(224): View more from Illinois

Strip Mario-Kart

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(224): My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream. (312): Elaborate (224): Strip Mario-Kart http://tfl.nu/xw36

Replies (11) Good night (2683) Bad night (708)
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(813): View more from Florida

I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

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(813): I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now. http://tfl.nu/w7s6

Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (449)
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(845): View more from New York

And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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(845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (357)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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(843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (732)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.

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(215): Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C. http://tfl.nu/gqta

Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (324)
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(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

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(473): She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?! http://tfl.nu/amuq

Replies (5) Good night (528) Bad night (377)
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(214): View more from Texas

If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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(214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860

Replies (6) Good night (278) Bad night (757)
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(540): View more from Virginia

These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.

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(540): These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love. http://tfl.nu/3io8

Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (212)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.

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(630): Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/xmh1

Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (272)

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