Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
