Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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