that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
