There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
