mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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