So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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