At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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