yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my being single is dangerous.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
