His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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