I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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