Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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