Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
