Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
