Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
