they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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