The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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