we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
