i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
