My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
