a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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