Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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